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confusion.....part deaux [23 Jan 2005|11:23pm]
There comes a time where a person must choose between the present and the future. and it's difficult to weigh out the pros and cons of leaving everything i have ever known, for something that i think might work...I'm not sure. I just wish that i would find something that will help me in my choice. But, in the end, the only way I'm going to find out is if i take the chance......right?
2 went to disneyland|had a dream

[18 Jan 2005|09:40am]
wow, its been a really long time since ive updated and a lot of shit has happened since november. I went snowboarding the week of christmas, lance broke his arm while we were there. Then on december 30th, i got arrested. that was gay. and then yesterday, i was in a car accident and totaled my truck. what next?......
2 went to disneyland|had a dream

[30 Nov 2004|11:17pm]
[ mood | blazed ]

I'm so angry right now, angry at the world, my parents, myself. I got dropped from 2 out of 4 of my classes, it's my own fault. I should have seen it coming. I'm just so pissed at the fact that my mom doesnt understand my point of view. I mean I know I fucked it all up, I'm the one who didn't go to class, not her. But the fact that she will sit there and say well I told you so. I told her I lost my interest because those classes weren't helping me because I had planned on going to the Art Institute and now that I'm not, I don't need those classes. But then she said, "Well I knew you weren't going to the Art Institute." So I said, "Glad you were behind me. Goodnight, I'll talk to you tomorrow." As I walk out the door, I hear, "No you won't." So I walk back in and say, "You're fucking right I won't now." Anyway....it went on and on and continued through the house. I don't know what I'm going to do now, other than sign up for next semester and go from there I guess. I truly feel like a loser now, I failed two out of four classes.......shit.

had a dream

[17 Nov 2004|12:58am]
A Prelude To An Emo Mind......There is a girl who I adore, I like her so much. She has an amazing personality and I could talk to her for hours. As much as I wanted to tell her how I feel the last time I saw her, yet I never got my nerve. There are only a few girls out there that I can talk to about anything, now there is one less in my life. I will miss this one, and kick myself for everytime I should have spoken up and not worried about other people. and for that.....I'm sorry.
3 went to disneyland|had a dream

A means to an end [08 Nov 2004|10:12pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

...el corazon was poisoned tonight...

had a dream

[08 Nov 2004|12:12am]
I now am the proud owner of a myspace, which can be seen here. So add me, my user name is "Its K-Dizzle mother fuckers!"
had a dream

Martini Kisses and Poisoned Wine [25 Oct 2004|08:47am]
i stand outside my pretty house
i light a match to start the fire
i called the cops to let em know
its 22 walthery ave

I may just be really happy today or something because I feel pretty good. This weekend was a blast, i had so much fun. Saw a lot of people I haven't seen in a long time at the dance when I "came home." Went and got drunk with bryan and lance and some other people. Things are looking up for the most part......that's all I have for now, but I know you will be waiting for the next one......im out
3 went to disneyland|had a dream

[21 Oct 2004|09:12pm]
It's been a while since i have updated, almost a month. a lot has happened, i lost my left testicle in a freak pogo stick accident.......well not really, but you can imagine what it would be like if i did right... it would be nice to have someone to share the upcoming holidays with....but alas, i ask for too much i think.....maybe
3 went to disneyland|had a dream

[29 Sep 2004|07:09am]
i feel strange, although I'm happy, i just feel so alone on the inside. i feel like there isnt anyone out there for me, and if i have already met them, then i blew my chance. i really have no clue what i am thinking about right now. i feel like i have matured since high school (which was a long 5 months ago...) yet i still feel like the me from high school. but then again, i never really knew what people thought of me in high school. im so hungry....o shit mcdonalds is serving breakfast... im going.
1 went to disneyland|had a dream

[25 Sep 2004|04:53pm]
For one of the first times in a long while, i feel good. im happy with a lot of the things in my life, minus girls, but that may change. Plus ive lost 25 pounds in the last 3 months.....wow, i sound like a girl.
2 went to disneyland|had a dream

[15 Sep 2004|12:11am]
i had fun tonight.....did you?
1 went to disneyland|had a dream

[04 Sep 2004|12:18pm]
everythings really bland right now.
had a dream

[30 Aug 2004|08:50pm]
im so fed up with this bullshit
2 went to disneyland|had a dream

[24 Aug 2004|09:15pm]
itsd my birthday in 2 hours and 45 min, and then i hit the big 1-8, feel free to shower me with sex and gifts, preferrably sex for all you cute girls out there
2 went to disneyland|had a dream

[18 Aug 2004|10:42pm]
i dont know what to say right now. im so pissed off but i cant express it. all i can say is fuck you, fuck you, your cool, and finally fuck you....
1 went to disneyland|had a dream

[11 Aug 2004|11:49pm]
i want to be in a band......really bad
had a dream

[11 Aug 2004|05:21pm]
im not sure what im going to say in this installment of my emo journal. im just so confused about what im going to do, i have no car, yet i need to get to school across town and to work as well. yet i have some money but, according to my parents, it wont work out. o well, ill figure it out......maybe
had a dream

[06 Aug 2004|11:12pm]
dear you,

i like you and i think you are an amazing person. i just wish i could say this in person..

dont you wanna know who im talking about.....
1 went to disneyland|had a dream

[05 Aug 2004|03:16pm]
this summer has been many things, I spent a lot of time with my friends, and also learned that I am stuck between my self-worth and being with my friends. it seems that I am frequently put into a position where, they have fun at my expense and i am forced to just let it go, but i am sick of being cut down, yet the moment i try to put it back on them, i become the asshole. I think that everyone is so used to having me be the one that people can walk on. when i try to fight back, i get made out to be a dick. its like it doesn't even matter if i am there or not. i just want to belong, or at least be treated like i do.

on a side note, the other day i did an impression of lance, i wasnt being offensive or anything, at least i wasnt trying to, and then rachelle starts this other one about how the only thing i ever do is bitch about how no one likes me, i think that was a horrible put down and i have one in my head, but for the sake of not becoming the asshole i supposedly am, i will keep it to myself.

get over yourself.....im out
1 went to disneyland|had a dream

[02 Aug 2004|11:34pm]
Even if i knew what to say right now, i wouldn't know where to start. As much as i hate how things are going, i admit, sometimes i do have fun, so i cant say tha i am always unhappy. but i can tell you that i am sorry for grouping you all into a category that i shouldnt have.thats all i want to write for now, because i dont want to offend anyone or have anyone feel guilty for treating me like they do, because hey, its all in fun right, try having fun with you other friends too. see how they like having fun at their own expense, i mean with the way it is, all we do is have fun.
3 went to disneyland|had a dream

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